It’s only the beginning…
For something to begin, something has to end. For me this is my association with 12wbt.
For the (almost exactly) 12 months that I have been *doing* the 12wbt, this has been my theme song..
I had planned on making a super-cool video to go with the song, but I think that this blog will do the same thing.. So here goes…
Last November, something inside me changed, clicked, woke up. I don’t know what the hell it was, it just happened and I had to change everything about my life. I was very unhappy and really needed to do something before it all went terribly pear-shaped. I did. I started exercising and I found 12wbt. It wasn’t until the following Feb that I was able to officially begin my first round, but in the meantime I joined the SE Qld Crew on Facebook and I started stalking every blog and snippet of information that I could find on the web.
I joined Bootcamps Aust and started attending 4 sessions a week with them, I walk-ran 6kms on the other two days a week. I started at 85kg. By the beginning of the round I was 72kg. I also started attending a PT session with my awesome Trainer Ash once a week. I remember I was absolutely gutted that I wasn’t under 70kg at the start of the round so my work-mate, Nick (also a Rugby Coach) and I did an impromptu lunch-time hill-sprint session. That was one of the toughest things I have ever done, it only went for 30min and is one of the few times that I have wanted to vomit during a session. I lost 3kg that week.
And it was really time to buy new work clothes. I was pretty happy to go from a size 16 to an 8. I hadn’t been an 8 since I was 18.
So Round 1, 2012 started and I hit the ground running (literally) I found myself wayyyyyy out of my comfort zone, running up and down stairs at Kangaroo Point most Sunday mornings.
Turning up to training sessions with Lisa Curry, and then backing them up with PT sessions… I entered the IWD fun-run and found that I could run 5km without stopping, and in 32 min…. Wow! I entered a 10 km race and discovered that I can also run 10km… and in a bloody decent time for a first attempt as well (52.4o).
I went the long way around deciding to do the half-marathon, but absolutely loved the distance and the training.. Not to mention the race itself… Love, love, loved every second.. Though it was already time to move onto something bigger and I also loved every single minute of the full marathon. I’ll never forget standing in this line and realising just how real it had all gotten.
Though, I knew I was going to be ok.. had plenty of support… like from my workmates…
(disclaimer- This message may or may not have been written by NS and DK)
During the course of all of this I have met some amazing people, I have made some of the best friends that I could have. I’ve lost friends… but I found myself. (yep, this is definitely me)
So it is ‘myself’ that has been struggling along for the last few weeks. Lots of things good and bad have happened and it’s all kind of left me a bit flat and flagging. Plenty of goals and no real motivation to go and do the work that I know I have to do to get there. Plodding along really… It’s been a real struggle to try to work out what is going on, but I think I have it. It is time to move past the 12wbt mindset. It’s time to do things for myself, to rely on and trust in myself. It’s an enormous undertaking… So many big goals and no ‘group’ or ‘program’ to lean on.
In the course of the year and learning to run, I saw a need for a ‘runners group’ within the Qld Crew. Running questions were asked over and over as posts got lost and events would tend to get messy and no-one really knew what was what and there was plenty of duplication and confusion. So I created the Awesome QLD Runners.
I enlisted my good friends Corinne, Karlee and Ann Marie to help with the Admin (read- do all the work) and we are off to a great start with nearly 200 members.. and I think that this is ‘enough’ for me. I need to simplify my life and probably limit my online time as well.
I have been really struggling with where I live for the last 12 months I have been fairly unhappy with how far I live from the city, It was my decision to live here and I do accept responsibility for it, but I want to move. But I can’t. Circumstances are just not going to allow for it right now and I have to accept that and move past it. Eventually it will happen, but it is not right now.
When I left the workout on Saturday I was approached by a marketing research lady who asked me a heap of questions about 12wbt. The very last question that she asked was if I could say something to Michelle, what would I say? I was a bit lost for words at the time, though, I guess I would say ‘Thankyou’. I am incredibly grateful to be where I am today and I wouldn’t be here, but for the great support that I have had through the program.
So what is next? I’m graduating from the 12wbt, so it’s time to start acting like a graduate! I have some serious running goals to attend to and I plan on having a whole heap of fun training for them! I think the toughest thing about stepping out on your own, or planning on it is that there is no magic pill, no special formula.. No one-stop-shop where everything will be revealed… Just a plethora of information, blogs, experiences and what-not all out there for dissemination. The sheer bulk of information is mind blowing, confusing and quite frustrating at times. Though, I guess that I have learned that I am learning..
Learning takes time, takes practice, takes experience.. I keep telling myself that I am getting better every day.. I learn a little more, try a little harder, make another mistake, learn, keep going..