Disappointed, Disillusioned, Disorientated and one awesome run in the park.

by de

This Lean and Strong caper is so much more than you think it is going to be cracked up to be. Attempting it for the first time over Christmas is probably the stupidest thing that I have ever done.. Oh, wait.. No. Not the stupidest, but its fairly silly. Silly if you don’t know what you are in for… Next year will be different.

I have watched the girls go through their L&S paces this year in Rounds 1,2 & 3 and read all about their concerns and dramas and thought often, ‘why are you thinking that’ ‘why are you behaving like that’ ‘why are you comparing yourself to others’.. Again, you know me, I had it all worked out. As usual, I don’t. I felt as though I have lost my cardio fitness, I had lost my will to run either fast or distance. I have enjoyed the workouts FAR more than I ever imagined that I would, but I have put on weight, I’m still unhappy with the way my body looks… I felt like a….

Sometimes I give myself the creeps

Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me…

On the back of a reasonably ordinary Christmas, I met my mates for a run this morning. My *old* run. The run where I found myself as a runner.. The run that I used to to every week, before I was a runner… I thought it would be just for fun. I have heaps of food in my fridge from xmas so I said that I would bring some eggs/bacon/tomatos and we would just have a quick BBQ afterwards rather than spend money in the cafe. I was delighted that my friend Ingred (even though she can’t run) decided to come along to cook us a Barbie breaky and just catch up, which was absolutely beautiful. In fact, I think it was exactly what every single one of us needed. Good mates, a laugh, some food and coffee (thanks Lesley) and of course a few gratuitous sexual connotations… Oh C’mon!!! There is a fair bit of talent hanging around at that time of the morning, be a shame to waste it!!

ANY-hoo… In the first instance, we went to run. Bec and Lesley are training for their first half, so they got there a bit earlier than us slow-pokes and did a few km, we met Bec at the bottom of the stairs for her second city loop. Bloody hell! I watched her run through like she owned the joint, Ann-Marie, Karlee and I all commented on her form.. but let alone the form, she was setting a cracking pace!!  Eugh, I can’t run like that anymore (said my head) so Karlee and I ran together, around Kangaroo Point, across the bridge (I wish I could get over it, but I still hate that bridge) down Ivory Lane and along Eagle St. When we got to the Botanical Gardens Karlee told me to go on without her, whcih was good for me because it was at that corner that Ute met me when I got my 10km PB at the Brisbane Running Festival and whenever I run down that path now I think of her and that fantastic day and I want to go faster! I started along the pavement and I thought that I saw a glimpse of Bec’s back… Woah… Do you think you could catch her? Na, you can’t catch her, you are not that fast anymore… Why bother… arummmmmm. No. Don’t….. You drank way too may beers over xmas, you won’t get there. Bad food choices, you are not fit enough anyway…..

STOP!

JUST (for the love of god) ….. TRY!

So I did. I tried. I ran that awesome stretch of the Botanical Gardens with my head in the air, concentrating on my form. I felt good. I thought I saw the back of her and I rounded the corner to tackle the goodwill bridge. Up the bridge and down the other side, in my absolute element… I *freaking* LOVE running fast downhill. That gave me some strength, I remembered… I’m good at this! A few more hills through South Brissy and there was no way that she was getting back to KP without me. I think I got her with around a km to go…. It means nothing that poor Bec had just done 14km when I’d only done 7.. and it wasn’t a race to begin with.. Just that when I saw her at the beginning and how great she looked I thought that I wasn’t anywhere near as good as that.

Turns out I was wrong… again!

Take your dream.

Make it happen.

Stop your bloody whining.

PS. I had one L&S workout that I had missed in the craziness of christmas. So I went to the gym and I did it. No excuses.

JFDI.

Advertisements