Oh.Emm.Gee look at me! I’m a bloody inspiration!
Who would have thunk it?
Not the girl in that picture. Not me….Well, not often.. Maybe sometimes.. I mean, anyone can be an inspiration.. right? I have plenty of people that inspire me.. Um, lot’s… and I am only really just learning about being inspired, let along getting my head around being inspiring… It’s a great bloody slippery slope learning curve at work again!
Last Saturday night, at the ‘unofficial’ 12WBT QLD CREW Party, I was awarded with the honor of ‘Most Inspiring’. Eugh! Really? It’s a really difficult title to get one’s head around. As a person you just KNOW how imperfect you are so it’s difficult to stand in front of a great room of people that are telling you otherwise! I’m good with it though. It’s fine. If it is inspiring that I am, well inspiring I will bloody well be.
I decided to loose weight last november because I didn’t like the way that I looked. What I also came to realise was I didn’t like the way that I felt. I was always tired and cranky and I thought I was in danger of turning into one of ‘those’ mums… you know… the tired cranky ones? I couldn’t keep up with my daughter either, Tk loves to dance and while I wanted to have a crack at her moves, it wasn’t long before I was a tangled gagging heap on the floor gasping for breath. I really hated that. The funny thing is that when I started running all I wanted was tk to come with me and I hadn’t stopped to think for a minute that she wouldn’t, but just as I will never participate in her cheerleading classes, she doesn’t get up at 5 on a sunday to run for 3hours either. Even when I only ran for 30min she didn’t come… So this photo means everything to me! We ran the whole of Park-run together and didn’t argue really much at all. Poor tk, her pace is so comfortable to me that I run alongside her pointing out the scenery and the beautiful woolstores apartments that I would like to live in, which of them have heated pools, balcony’s, units within our price range (unfortunately none) anyway to cut a long story short, it gives her the shits. My rambling gives someone the shits? Again… Who would have thunk it? We did it. It’s been a few months in the making but we ran 5km together.
Nothing says inspiring quite like a pink tutu and a look of absolute strain as I am determined to not let my bestie get the better of me!
I guess, I have had such success with ‘the program’ but also with other things that I wanted to write about it to tell everyone else about it! Then when I started writing, I couldn’t just contain myself to recalling events and sharing my excitement.. I had to get out there how I *felt* as well. Ewwwwww, nobody wants to talk about their feelings!! Least of all me.. remember me? I drink them… not feel them. Fuck. Here I am.. writing about them. At least it’s less calories!
So… Inspirational. Inspirational is saying what you think? It’s honesty? It’s saying fuck and not caring what anyone thinks? because that’s what I do. I wanted to be real here and write what I *really* felt and thought about things. It hasn’t always been easy and it is always confronting. The first time I hit publish and then actually told someone else that there was a post, I honestly shit myself. I mean… I work with a group of men… and we aren’t in the personal grooming industry.. they are blokes blokes and I would NEVER hear the end of it if they thought that I was running around talking about my feelings… or how things had ‘affected’ me… oh lord! And then. What will mum say? What will people that don’t know me think… What if my neighbours read it, surely the whole world will think I’ve gone mad. I stopped caring and kept going anyway. I don’t care what anyone else thinks because this is MY life. This is what I want. I think the boys at work do know that I write something and they did snigger and giggle when I told them I won the Inspirational award and said something about so say ‘a bunch of chic’s’
When I first choose to loose weight and change my life, I loved reading the stories of the other women that had already embarked upon the journey… So many wonderful success stories, photos, events shared, prizes won (who would have thought it would be me by the time the year was out?) I just loved the thought that I could be a part of all of these fun things that people wrote about! Now I AM part of all of the fun things! So I guess blogging is about giving back? Though it’s more than that because I do feel as though I would write something even if noone else read it, I really felt I had to get it out there. Though it is nice to know that what I have to say may help, enlighten, hell… even entertain someone else! It keeps me constantly thinking as well. I love going out knowing that I will have something to say afterwards, making sure I take the photos and remember what happened for later on, keeps you connected with your surroundings, thinking about what you are doing, what you are working towards, how you’re going to get there… who you have met along the way… what is coming up around the corner?
Sarah Lim, now THERE is an inspiration!
So, thankyou QLD Crew for your completely unexpected nominations! I’m still blown away, excited and generally pretty happy that something that I have said or done has meant that much. As ussual Ang has articulated the entire event in a more meaninful manner and you can read all about it here.